Lost Memories
by Astred
Summary: Nikita is shot and loses her memory. It's up to Micheal to help her remember. But is that what he wants to do? Please let me know what you think...


"Nikita, give me your location." 

Nikita heard Birkoff over her com unit. "I'm at the far end of the east hallway." 

"Nikita, I repeat, give me your location." 

Nikita said it again and once again he asked. She thought to herself. _I can't believe this. Of all of the times for my com unit to fail. These things belong in a junk pile._

So she had to find a way to get out of there without their help, but it was not going to be easy. She put the silencer on her gun. It looked as thought she was going to have to shoot her way out. But if one of the other men heard a gun shot, she knew that they would come running and she would have no chance whatsoever. 

"Michael, We have a problem." Birkoff said. "It's Nikita." 

"What's wrong Birkoff?" Michael immediately got worried when he heard Nikita's name mentioned. 

"Nikita has not answered to her location. I am getting no response from her at all. All communication is dead." 

Michael could tell that Birkoff was worried by the sound of his voice. "Don't worry Birkoff, I'll go find her right now." 

He immediately headed off to were Nikita was last seen. He saw dead bodies all over the place, but no sign of her. He rounded the wall and at the other end he saw a man standing there. He was standing above a body, but he could not see the face from this length away. When he saw the man raise his gun, he ran and shot the man in the shoulder. But before he could shoot again the man raised the gun and shot the person lying on the floor. Michael's second shot hit right on target. Right between the eyes. 

Once he got to the end of the hallway he saw who the victim was. When he looked down he felt like his heart was ripped out. It was Nikita. 

"No! Oh please! NO!!" Michael dropped to his knees and pulled her head onto his lap. Blood was covering her beautiful blond hair. She was shot in the side of her head. 

Michael could not believe that this was happening. His whole body was numb. He leaned down to kiss her lips as a tear rolled down his cheek and landed on her face, but when he had his hands on her neck he felt something. A pulse. She still had a pulse. 

Michael jumped up, grabbed her and began running to the van which was parked about a block away from the building. As he ran he began shouting into his com unit. 

" Abort! Abort! Birkoff get medical on their way out here NOW!!" 

"Right away, Michael." Birkoff called it in and then turned his attention back to Michael's voice. "Who's down, Michael?" 

"Nikita." 

As Michael stepped inside the van he saw the other operatives behind him. Once he got her in the van he cradled her head in his lap. Something she had done to him before. 

Birkoff tried not to turn around and look at her. He didn't want to know how bad she was, but he had to look. When he saw her his face went pale. Michael looked up about that time and Birkoff saw that his eyes were full of unshed tears. Birkoff knew that they were probably going to lose Nikita. It would be hard on them, but Michael just wouldn't be able to handle losing another love. 

Medical met the van half way back to the Section. As they switched from Sections van to Medical's. Michael never left her side.. He held her hand and promised that he would always be by her side. Even though Nikita was unconscious she kept hold of Michael's hand. When they were about five miles from Section, her hand suddenly went limp. 

About that time a machine that was hooked up to her started to make the worst sound. He heard one of the men scream out. 

"We've lost the heartbeat." Then he pushed Michael out of the way. It took about seven minutes to bring her back. 

When Michael saw the beat of her heart on the machine he was able to let go of the breath that he did not even know that he was holding. 

Once they reached Section he saw Madeline and Operations standing waiting for them. Michael didn't stop to talk to them. He never left her side until they took her into the operating room. Even then it was a fight to get him away from her. 

Right after she was wheeled back Madeline and Operation walked in. 

"What happened in there tonight?" Operations asked. 

"I have no idea. All I know is that Birkoff said that Nikita was not answering him and asked me to go and look for her. The target had already been picked and was on his way back here. When I found her I saw a man standing over a body. I shot but I only hit him in the shoulder. Before I could get off another shot he had shot the person on the ground and then after I killed him I saw that it was Nikita. If I had not missed that shot he would have never have had time to shot her." 

He thought to himself for a minute and pulled his hands to his face and said, "Oh my god! It's my fault. Nikita is going to die because of me." 

"Michael, It's not your fault that she was shot. And she may will pull through. You can't punish yourself like this." 

Michael would not even listen to what Madeline had to say. There was only one thing that Michael had on his mind and that was Nikita. 

They left Michael alone with his thoughts. He kept seeing the man shoot her over and over in his mind and he saw her beautiful face and hair covered with blood. He didn't know how long he had been waiting out there when the doctor finally came out there to talk to him. 

"She's survived the surgery and she will live." When Michael heard this he let out a real deep sigh. "We still have a problem. She was hit in the head as you know and she stopped breathing on the way over here and twice while she was in surgery. We believe that she might have some brain damage. As to how much, only time will tell." 

Michael knew that if Nikita could not live up to being a cold op then she would be canceled. He again felt as though his soul, of which he thought had left him years ago, was being ripped out and cut to shreds. 

About this time they wheeled her into the room. 

She had tubes coming out of everywhere. He could see that they did not have to shave the side of her head due to the location of the wound. To him, it wouldn't matter. He would love her no matter what she looked like.. Michael stayed with her until he was forced to leave the room when the doctors had to examine her, but even then he would not be but a few feet outside of the door. 

After nearly three weeks Michael was sitting in a chair sleeping when he heard a noise. He nearly fell out of the chair when he went to turn around. He saw the most wonderful sight that he could have ever imagined. Nikita had her eyes open looking at him. He stood and walked up to the head of the bed and kissed her lips, but when he did she pulled away. 

"What's wrong Nikita?" She looked at him for a second. 

"Who are you?" She asked nervously. 

Michael's mouth dropped open. "You don't remember me?" 

Nikita shook her head. 

"Do you know what your name is?" 

She looked at him for a second before speaking. "Nikita. I think isn't that what you just called me." 

Michael went from happy to worried. He thought that she had remembered her name and then found out that she only heard him say it. 

"Medical! Get in here now!" He then called Madeline and Operations to come down. 

"Well, I see that you are awake now. How are you doing?" Madeline asked and then saw that Nikita just stared at her. "What's wrong with her?" 

"She does not remember us. Any of us. The doctor said that it could be permanent or it could only be a while. He said that there is really no way to know for sure." Michael looked like a broken man. He had circles under his eyes. He had lost weight and he was pale. 

Madeline turned to Nikita and then turned to Michael again. "I want to see you in my office in twenty minutes." 

Michael just nodded his head and then focused his attention back on Nikita who had fallen asleep. 

Twenty minutes later he walked into Madeline's office. As he walked in he saw that Operations was there and he had a smile on his face.. 

Michael thought to himself . _How dare him be smiling_. He soon found out that there was indeed something to smile about. 

As he looked at Madeline she smiled at him. "Michael. This is something that we have never done before, but we have decided to give it a try. We know that right now Nikita knows no one not even herself and that she also knows nothing of Section One. So this is what we are going to try, but only if you do it the way that we ask. If you do not then you will not get a second chance." Michael stood there and listened as she continued. "You are to take her to your apartment and you can pretend that she is a close friend of yours. She is to stay with you. The thing that Nikita had wanted the most is her freedom and we are going to try and grant it to her, but if she remembers then she will have to come back to Section. Do you understand?" 

Michael could not believe what they were saying. He just hoped that this would work. 

On the day that Nikita was to be released she was given a strong sedative so that as she was leaving she would not see how to get back. Therefore she would not be a security risk. Once she was knocked out Michael carried her to his car and drove her to his house. 

The next day when Nikita woke up she looked around and did not know where she was at again. Then she got up and walked into the living room where Michael sat waiting for her. So far he had not told her anything about her life. He had to figure out what to say. He stayed up all the previous night trying to figure out what to tell her. Because he knew that she wanted some answers. 

"Michael." Nikita said. "You told me the other day that you would tell me some things about myself once I was home. I don't know if this is home but I think that this is what you meant." 

Michael smiled and told her that she had been a friend of his for years now, which was the truth and that she was in his apartment because the doctor said that she was not to be left alone. He did not tell her about Section of course. Because wanted to make sure that she was free of Section. 

"How did we meet?" He didn't really know what to say so he thought for a minute. 

"The first time that we met you were wearing all white and you looked like an angel. I thought that you were on of the most beautiful people God ever put on this Earth. We became friends after a while and have been ever since." 

Nikita smiled. " I don't remember you, but I feel great affection towards you. Does that sound strange to you?" 

Michael just smiled. ''Not at all." 

As the days passed she found out more and more about her life excluding Section, but also as the days went on she began to get more and more feelings toward Michael. She found him strangely intoxicating. His body, his heart, his beautiful overall appearance and also the way he treated her with such affection. 

Michael felt the same way. He had fallen in love with Nikita all over again. Even though he never admitted it before everyone knew that he loved her. He thought about what Madeline and Operations said. He decided that he needed to go talk to them. 

====================================== 

BACK AT SECTION 

"I have a favor to ask of you." He said as Operations walked to stand by Madeline. 

"What can we do for you?" She asked with a smile. 

"You are the ones that made the rule about no relationships between operatives. I wanted to know if the same thing applies for Nikita. She is no longer an operative." They stared at Michael as he continued to speak. "I am in love with Nikita. I am sure that you have always known it, but I want to take our relationship further and I need to know what you have to say." 

"Just how far do you want to take it." Operations asked as he eyed Michael. 

"All the way. I want to spend my life with her. I want to marry her." 

Madeline and Operations could not mask their surprise. They thought for a minute and then told Michael that they would make a decision and let him know within the hour. 

Michael could not just go to his office and wait. He was too nervous. He decided to go to talk to Walter. As he got there he saw that Birkoff was there. 

"How's it going Michael? How's Nikita?" 

Michael smiled. "She's doing great. She feels better too." 

"That's great Michael. When do we get to see her again?" Birkoff asked but Walter was waiting for an answer also. 

Michael had to finally explain to them the proposition that Madeline and Operations. 

"Well, What are you doing down here today if they told you that you could stay home with her for a while?" 

"I had to talk to them about something else." Michael knew that they were about to ask so he went ahead and told them. "I want Nikita to be with me. Just with me. I love her." 

Walter and Birkoff had known that Michael was in love with Nikita for a while. Almost everybody knew even though they tried to keep it secret. 

"Michael come to my office. We need to talk." Operations said over the loudspeaker. 

Michael straightened his suit and began to walk to his office. As he walked in he took a deep breath. 

"We have considered your request. And we have decided that if she does not remember anything within the next month then you will be allowed to marry, but if she remembers something she will have to come back. If she doesn't meet Section standards you know what will happen." 

Michael knew but there would be no way that was going to happen. 

After Michael left the Section he had taken a long walk to think about what has happened. He wanted to be with Nikita so bad and he wanted to marry her. He decided to ask Operations and Madeline before he went any further with the relationship, but now that they said it would be allowed . He decided to go ahead and tell her how he feels about her. 

"Nikita." He said as he walked into the front door. "I'm home. Where are you at?" 

"I'm in the shower. I will be out in just a minute." As she walked out into the living room about ten minutes later she was amazed by what she saw. 

She looked at the table and saw a bottle of wine and candle light with flowers. 

"What's the special occasion?" She said as she walked over to the table. "It's not my birthday, is it?" She was joking but then she stopped to think about it. "Is it?" 

Michael could not help but smile at the confused look on her face. 

"No, It's not your birthday for another two months. It is just something that I wanted to do for you." 

Nikita smiled as she looked at this beautiful man. She thought to herself that it should be a sin to look that good. 

After dinner they sat on the couch and talked as they sipped their wine. Michael was looking at Nikita and thinking about how he would start this conversation. So he just decided to take a while and let her get to know him again.. Not the dark Michael, but the one that he has become since all of this started. He felt so much better about himself because they started with a clean slate. No lies, no deceptions. Only truth. He was able to smile again. To laugh. Something that he hadn't done in a very long time. 

"There is something that I want you to promise me." He paused for a minute and saw her nod and then he continued. "If you remember anything. Anything at all. Do not tell anyone else but me. Please this is very important. No one but me." 

"All right Michael. I promise." She saw that this was really important to him. Then she leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the lips and then sat back in the couch again. Michael sat there for a minute and then leaned over and gave her a kiss. This was a kiss of passion and not of friendship. She was hoping that he would kiss her back. When he did she remembered something. She did this before but she could not place when. They then continued to kiss. He slowly stopped and pulled away from her. She looked at him and asked him what had happened.. 

"I don't want to push you into anything that you are not ready for. This means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me." 

Nikita smiled and leaned over and kissed him again.. 

"I don't know the way that I was before but I do know one thing. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. It might have only been a month since I met you 'again' but I feel as though we are meant to together. I just want to have you love me the way that I love you." 

Michael smiled as she spoke. 

"I do love you very much and I always have. From the first time I saw you I knew that you were a special person. It was not too long before you worked your way into my heart." 

Nikita thought for a minute and leaned over and kissed him again, but this time he did not stop her. He knew that this was now what they 'both' wanted. One thing lead to another and before long there was a trail of clothes leading from the living room to the bedroom. As they discovered each others bodies once again. 

After they made love, Michael pulled her up close into his arms. He held her like that until they both fell asleep. She felt so safe in his arms. She loved for him to just hold her. 

When they awoke, Nikita sat straight up in bed and turn to Michael. He leaned up to find out what was wrong. 

"I remember something." She paused a second. "It was you and I on some kind of a boat. You grabbed me and pushed me down on the bed and kissed me like you did last night. Then you said something like 'I thought I'd lost you.' Is that right?" 

Michael nodded. "Do you remember anything else?" 

"Yes, I remember how much I loved you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me." 

When he heard this he decided to go ahead with what he had planned earlier. 

"Nikita, I need to talk to you. I want to know if you will marry me. I love you with all my heart and soul and I always will." He could not believe that he was saying this. For so long he thought that he had lost his soul, but Nikita gave it back to him. 

Nikita looked at him in amazement. Here was this wonderful man that she loved and he asked her to marry him. She did not have to think too long before she answered. 

"I will marry you. When do you want to do it?" 

"Let me see. It's Friday now. How about Saturday? The sooner the better." Michael smiled and got down on one knee and took her hand in his. "Nikita, will you do the honor of becoming my wife." 

"You already have your answer to that." 

Michael reached in his pocket and pulled out a ring and put it on her finger. It was a 1 carat diamond and it was beautiful. 

"When did you get this?" 

He smiled and said. "I got it a couple of days ago, but it was finalized today. Remember. Tell no one else about your memory coming back." 

Nikita promised him that she would never tell anyone. 

Saturday came very quickly and before she knew it she was on her way down the aisle. 

After the vows and after they were pronounced Man and Wife. Nikita looked over the people that were there. She was told that they were her family. She saw Walter, Birkoff, Madeline and Operations. Suddenly everything came back to her. She remembered everything and she still remembered what Michael had told her in their time together. 

She leaned over to Michael and whispered something in his ear. What she said made him smile. Then he leaned over and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Madeline saw this and got very curious as to what was said. 

She had spoke only a few words to him. "I remember everything. I love you so much. I always will. Thank you." 

When Madeline asked what was said, Michael said that it was about their wedding night. She left it alone and did not ask anything more. 

That night Nikita asked Michael why she did not want her to tell anyone about her remembering. 

Michael began to explain what had happened and Nikita was very surprised that it was Operations and Madeline had the idea about letting her go. 

She loved Michael so much for the way that he treated her since she was injured. 

"I promise that I will never lie to you again." Michael said. 

"You don't have to. I will do anything that you say. I love you Michael." Nikita said as they started to make love once again. 

"You will always be in my heart." Michael said. 

"Forever." Nikita started. 

"... and always." He finished. 

"I love you Michael." 

"I love you Nikita." 

The End 


End file.
